I went for a walk instead. I had hoped to visit my friend who is on hospice. We don’t speak of it but have been spending Friday’s together. I try to see her another time during the week but it was an especially busy week as I prepare to leave town on Sunday. I’ll try again tomorrow. I am so happy that she is able to say no. The first time I called today she was asleep. The call, two hours later, was answered with, “She is too tired”. She felt poorly for months but after the “fall” came all of the tests with the “D” word (diagnosis) leading to the “C” word (cancer). So I am walking and thinking and praying and singing and wondering when the body says to the soul, “I’m too tired to carry you any more”. When does the soul say to the body, “Then send me home”? When is the burden of a body too great? People of faith know that only the spirit survives this life. Everyone should know that and have hope for eternal bliss with Jesus in Heaven. When does the suicidal soul say, “This pain I bear is too much”? While I’m walking and thinking about my friend and her grandson’s June wedding, I want to help her plan her outfit to put on her body that is too tired today. I want to hold her hand and laugh. Those desperate “D” words multiply in my mind…diagnosis, divorce, dementia, desperate, death, dying,…it is all “dumb”. Today I miss my friend and know that time with her is precious and I will always miss her until my dying day.